English Language Strangeness Part 3

As seen on Eddsport Magazine

The only shred of dignity Britain will have left after Europe becomes one giant amorphous blob is the English language, which most experts agree should become the official Euro-tongue.

However, the ever efficient Germans suggest that English spelling does have room for improvement and that a 5 year plan has been drawn up to develop ‘EuroEnglish’.

In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’ and ‘k’ will replace the hard ‘c’. Not only will this klear up konfusion and make the life of sivil servants easier, but also komputer keyboards will need one less key.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replased with an ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20 persent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to get to a stage where more komplikated alterations are possible. So double letters will be removed to inkrease the liklihod of akurate speling. The horible mes of the silent ‘e’ wil also be banishd.

By the fourth yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps like replasing ‘th’ with ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

During ze fifz yar, ozer silent leters like 'w' vil be holy removed and ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘ou’ and similar modifikations vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no more trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru!

English Language Strangeness Part 2

Did You Know that the words "race car" spelled backward spells race car, that "eat" is the only word that if you take the first letter and move it to the last, it spells it's past tense "ate".

And have you noticed that if you rearrange the letters in "illegal immigrants," and add just a few more letters, it spells out:

"Fuck off and go home you free-loading, benefit grabbing, kid producing, violent bastards and take those hairy faced, sandal wearing, bomb making, goat fucking, smelly rag head bastards with you too."

How weird is that?

English Language Strangeness Part 1

Isn’t it funny that:

You add an “h” to “hug,” you get Hugh. Since the “h” is silent in England you would think you would get “hug” right back again. In England is Hugh Grant called Hug? No!

You add an “e” to hop and you get “hope” but if you add an “e” to “to,” you get “toe.” That “e” can change an “ah” sound to “oh” or an “uuh” like in “you” to “oh.” Oh, yes! Add an “e” to “trip” and you get “tripe” and who wants that?

I like Spanish where vowels behave themselves.

And you can spell “rough” as “ruff” both of which are pronounced “ruhf.”

You know what your spell checker will do with “ruhf.

“Ruff” is that “stiffly starched frilled or pleated circular collar of lace, muslin, or other fine fabric, worn by men and women in the 16th and 17th centuries.”